u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
one two three fourrrrnication!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you win again, gameday.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
