btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
