I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
