covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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