Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
