I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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