True but thats because hes a fetus.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
