What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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