Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
