On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
