And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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