So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
