is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
