Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
