Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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