she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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