she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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