I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
