Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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