Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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