You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
