sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
