i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
