Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize