So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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