girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
