So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
