I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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