I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
