SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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