my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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