i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
