$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
