Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
bring money and cleavage
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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