i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
