This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
