Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
