If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
