I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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