she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
