Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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