The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he thought i was a dude.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
