i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
