we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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