No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
