I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
