what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
