Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
