It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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