Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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