goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
