The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
