My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
